When one chooses to walk upon the spiritual path, one often assumes that all people in the so-called spiritual community are going to act ethically and morally. It can come as a rude awakening when someone we respect as an expression of the divine acts in ways that are hurtful, deceptive or, at the least, thoughtless. When one has to wander out of the spiritual community into the mundane world, there are also tendencies for a spiritual individual to have a higher trust level which can often leave one more vulnerable. In a world where others may not adhere to the tenets that we choose to abide by, we sometimes are at greater risk to be taken advantage of or be hurt more easily.How will we act in situations of betrayal or hurtful issues? We will act normally. We will feel violated, used, hurt, saddened, angry and so forth. Just because one is traveling a spiritual path, it does not mean that one does not have these natural reactions to something that is hurtful. Sometimes when we feel angry we will castigate ourselves because we are not being as "good" as we think we should. Even before we can get to the state of forgiving those who have wronged us, we need to first forgive ourselves for being normal or perhaps for not acting as spiritually as we expect of ourselves. Guilt will not help in any situation when one is seeking to live a spiritual life. While many of us have been brought up in religious communities that promote the use of guilt and fear to maintain the status quo, a truly spiritual person will use negative events or thoughts to prompt positive growth and to evolve on the spiral of spiritual expression. A really wonderful teacher (and I am sorry I cannot remember exactly which one because I have had so many) said to me: "To turn a negative event into a positive expression ask this question: What good can come from this?" So the first step in forgiving self and forgiving others is to look at an issue from many different sides. Try to get into the mind of the person(s) who perpetuated this issue and ask yourself: What prompted this person to act this way? What was their motivation and how did they see themselves receiving something that they needed by their actions? If you have trouble seeing the possibilities, discuss it with a confidant that you trust to hold your discussions confidentially. Look for feedback that is honest and not just someone telling you what you want to hear. The most important thing that you need to discover in the healing process of forgiveness is to learn intent. If the individual purposely tried to do what you consider wrong and you know they knew it was wrong or illegal, that is one issue. If they thought that what they were doing were not wrong and they were not trying purposely to hurt you, this is a totally different issue. Just a special note of warning, usually a person that you know has shown you patterns of small hurts or negative behaviors, you need to know if they were setting you up for the big one. Also, reflect upon your response and dig deep to find what buttons were being pushed by the event or issue that has caused you pain. You might find that why you were hurt because you were to learn a lesson, and I think in all strongly emotional events, both positive and negative, this is a constant factor. Remember, the spiritual individual will grow stronger by learning to think clearly and learn from the events over a lifetime. For me, choosing to allow myself to be vulnerable requires that I develop a greater sense of detachment and observation of my reactions to the world around me. Meditation is probably one's most positive tool in seeking enlightenment. In fact, I think that one of the reasons that I might get angry with myself when I act with normal emotions is that it indicates to me that I have lost my spiritual detachment. When you have worked your way around how you feel and the whys and so forth of a hurtful event, you are ready to begin the healing process. Sometimes you may think you have it clearly figured out, only to have something deeper pop up from your unconscious or the cosmic mind. Be gentle with YOU! And, be gentle with the other person. Some people and counselors will suggest that one needs to confront the person who creates pain for self, but I do not necessarily think that is true. I think that we can do it on a spiritual or psychic level and have the same healing effect. Confrontation is usually just a vehicle to perpetuate more angry or hurtful behaviors. The person that you confront is not going to think he or she did anything wrong or if he or she does, it will be normal to become defensive. It will work just as well for you to write out a letter stating what happened, how it made you feel, and that you now release the negativity and transmute it to good. Then burn the letter and release it to the universal mind. You can use this technique to heal old hurts where the person is no longer available or who might have passed over. If this does not work at first, you can do it again and before you burn the letter you can visualize that you are severing the psychic cords or energy threads that have kept you connected to this toxic individual. In forgiving yourself and in healing yourself, you can use visualization where you feel all of your energy returning to balance. Start at the top of your head and imagine wonderful healing energy entering the top of your head – like from the divine source. Let this energy slowly move through your body feeling it heal and empower you. Then imagine that it is going out through the soles of your feet into the ground and then through the center of the earth and then coming out the other side of the earth and creating a circle from whence it began from the universe. In this visualization you are creating a pure energy link that constantly replenishes from the infinite divine. All of us will have times of positive and negative events and issues through our lives. However, the sooner we learn to take responsibility for how we respond to events and turn them into positive use of energy, the less we will suffer and the more we will experience times of contentment and joy. And along the way one never knows when what appears to be such a bad experience becomes the event that opens the door to manifest blessings.

Self Esteem
Self esteem is really the core of our behaviors and well being. When we feel good about ourselves, our outlook on life reflects that. Issues in life don't affect us dramatically. We give to others and add to our own abundance of joy. What is even better is that our attitudes become contagious. Others can feed off of a kind word or friendly smile. It's truly amazing how many people you can affect with a positive form of self worth.
The opposite is also true. A negative self esteem attributes to us looking outward for something to fill the gap. This sometimes leads to unhealthy relationships with others. A person lacking self control may seek a controlling relationship. A person with low self esteem may seek someone that attributes to their negative perspective of themselves. This occurs mainly because the person did not have self esteem in the first place to find a "loving" relationship. This behavior spreads to family members, to children, to everyone this person may encounter. It's a pattern worth looking at and recognizing as it impacts us all.
Whose responsibility is it to recognize our self worth as well as our self weakness? It is our responsibility. Other people may see our weakness' but it takes ourselves to see them to make the change necessary to grow. We owe it to ourselves to invest in our well-being, but we also owe it to others to make the most of their time as well as ours.

I'll be interviewed on March 18 at www.michellepillow.com/blog

It's a fun, entertaining and somewhat silly interview. I had a blast. Hope you'll check it out.

Right now I'm putting final touches on Blood Pool, the steamy, sexy new vampire novel guaranteed to fog your reading glasses.

Tomorrow's my wedding anniversary. Seven years of mostly bliss. We survived a lot. The most devastating being my sister's death and my husband's near fatal heart attack. When it rains, it definitely POURS!
It will be three years in February that he suffered a massive CI, four days after my husband's birthday and three days before mine. He is very lucky to be alive--*knocks on wood*.
I celebrated early and got a stylish haircut! More for me--of course--my spouse prefers it long. I needed a new look...or rather wanted one.
He'll get his gift tomorrow...;-)

You'd think that at this time of the year, after all the hub-bub is over that one could relax. NO WAY!
From November until now it's birthday time in my home, with the holidays nestled in between. My youngest son's birthday was yesterday, so now there is a reprieve until February.
My baby is 15!! Yikes, how time flies. He requested crab legs for dinner and a fudgey birthday cake. His dad bought him an I-phone--nice, I got him some gadget for his X-Box live.

I have to go make some money to pay for all of this--time to edit Blood Pool, the new vampire novel.
Raven Strigoi is the MC, who happens to be the medical examiner for the island of Mirabelle Cove, and she's a vampire. Technically she's half vampire, half human.

Soon, I'll post a little blurb about the rest of the saga.
Happy New Year!
Ella

Myspace Comments

*Heavy Sigh*

The whirlwind that is the holidays, for the most part, is over.
The traditional Italian fish feast Christmas eve is slacking, due to my mom's age, and my reluctance to learn how to make 'fish salad', baccala, and stuffed squid. I want to introduce new dishes, such as, fried striped bass, scallops, and perhaps shrimp parmesan.
Next year.
I didn't get to watch much of 24 hrs of A Christmas Story this year. Only 30 minutes. It's a Wonderful Life still remains MIA.
My nieces and family all arrived at my home in the evening and we drank and ate while carolers sang outside. It was a lovely night. The next day my sons came over, and my mom, and we dined on honeyed ham, sweet potatoes with apricots & apples, carrots and a big salad.

Now the cleanup begins...yuk!
Duty calls...and laundry.
Happy New Year!
Ella

Yesterday I attended my book signing at Bluemoon Enchantments. It was a wonderful experience. So many people came to celebrate the holiday season, and purchase books, sample some meade, munch on cheese and crackers, veggies, and much more. I was able to meet a few Myspace friends, as well.

This was my first time tasting meade, I must say it's different than I expected. It's a wine made from honey and various flavors. The samples there were; peach, vanilla, and raspberry. I enjoyed the raspberry. Also on the list of favorite holiday drinks is wassail, which I love, and eggnog! Wassail is made with, or without alcohol, and apple cider, cloves, cinnamon, and any other spices you like. Serve it warm and enjoy!

Afterwards, my husband and I had our own celebration and went out to dinner. All in all, it was a marvelous day and evening. I especially cherish going out at this time of year when many businesses and homes are dripping with brilliant rainbow colored lights. I often wonder what is going on in the living rooms of the warmly lit homes as we'd drive by, TV's are sometimes on, and holiday trees are sparkling.

I've officially got three book signings under my belt. I enjoyed everyone of them and look forward to doing more. The people are friendly, warm, and either book lovers or know a book lover.

I just finished reading a lovely book, Garden Spells, by Sarah Addison Allen. It's a Giving Tree type story about a family's apple tree and the magic it bestows when someone bites into one of its apples. If you enjoyed the book, Practical Magic, by Alice Hoffman, or Nora Roberts, Dance Upon the Air--Three Sisters Island Trilogy, you'll love Garden Spells.

I think that it's important that everyone is able to express their own opinions, but I feel it is equally important that we try to stop lumping stereotypes together. I have considered myself an ecclectic wiccan and have read many and written a few books.
I don't believe that anyone can or should judge a person's devotion based on length of time of a ritual. A hollow heart can pray all day, but that does not make him/her anymore devout than a sincere person who walks his/her talk, and doesn't perform any rituals. It's what's in a person's heart and soul that counts.
In my many years of study, I think the most important thing I've learned is that we're all still learning, still evolving... and a rose by any other name, would smell as sweet.
My reasons for incorperating different pantheons comes from past life connections. So, yes, I will have statues of Isis, Kuan Yin, and Ganeesh in my home. If I had to chose one it would be Isis. She speaks to my soul, and yet I am not Egyptian (not in this lifetime).
I say, it's the journey that counts, not the color horse you ride. Personally, I really don't like labels and that's another reason 'eclectic' works for me. Basically, as I've said in my bio, "I'm a spiritual being having human experiences."~ Wayne Dyer.
Of course these are just some of my thoughts on the subject.

With love and respect,Ella

The Yule trees have been put up all around the house and now I'm preparing for next week's book signing. It's at BlueMoon Enchantments in Patchogue, NY. December 15th is the date.

The shopping season is in full swing and as usual I have many to still shop for, but I had to get my novella finished before the holidays.

Any special plans?

Ella

Well, the wheel of the year keeps spinning. I am thankful that Thanksgiving is a memory. Recently the holidays have become my responsibility for hosting. It gets a bit much celebrating 'my' holidays, Imbolc, Samhain, etc. and the family ones.

As always, I dread their approach and I'm happy at their conclusion. The odd thing is I do love to entertain.

Now the countdown begins until the next round...Yule, Christmas Eve, Day, New Years.

I think I'll get lost in my writing until spring.

Ella

WooHoo!!!! Today I am guest blogging on one of my favorite authors blog, Yasmine Galenorn. It's at http://witchychicks.blogspot.com

I am so honored that she invited me to blog today. This week is bringing many blessings. I've lined up two book signings, both on Long Island, and I have my new book marks ready to be laminated. I also won a contest at my writers group, Absolute Write, for a non-fiction piece.

I'm at the end, hopefully, of editing Blood Pool, my vampire book and then I finish an anthology. Well, it's a part of an anthology. AND THEN I can get to work on the third installment of the Angelica Kane series. Plus, shop for Turkey Day, and cook, clean...I'm tired already. :o)

Blessings!

Ella

This month I attended the Eyes of Learning Fall Festival. It's Long Island's oldest non-profit metaphysical organization. I had worked at these fairs years ago doing psychic readings and this time I was there selling my book, and music. I had a wonderful time and look forward to the Spring Fair. I was able to see friends that I haven't seen in a long-long time. Next time I may even do some readings.

Ella

Renaissance Fair!

Friday we went to my favorite minstrels first US city tour of this year. Blackmore's Night played in CT and what a fabulous show it was. With all the craziness of the summer slowly fading it was wonderful to go and relax and enjoy a night out. It was sorely needed and flew by much too fast.

Now I'm back at the computer determined to finish In the Name of Love--or--Blood Pool. Can't quite decide what title I like best. I may go with the former. It's a vamp story with a twist and I'm tickled with the way it's telling itself.

Yes, that's right...my characters along with Miss Muse tell the story and I just write it down. As with Every Witch Way But Dead, the characters came to life and the plot went in a totally different direction than what I had planned for them.

Next weekend I'll be in Levittown, NY at an Eyes of Learning Fall Fair signing Every With Way But Dead. If you live on Long Island--come on by!

BB
Ella

Monday wasn’t such a great day. This summer has been extremely busy. Days have been spent unpacking boxes, painting walls and endless trips to Home Depot. There hasn’t been much time for writing.
Later in the day Monday, I went home to pick up my youngest son to help unpack yet more boxes. Stabbing them with scissors to cut the miles of packing tape I got out my frustrations, daily. I was sick of seeing the tan hide of cardboard.
That is until I stepped on my porch and saw a slender box with the Samhain return address. Jumping for joy, I screamed for my son to come outside. I could hardly contain the ecstatic emotions coursing through me. I tenderly guided the scissor across the top and opened the treasure chest. There it was—my book. Every Witch Way But Dead.
I know other writers can appreciate this next sentiment. It’s funny—not ha-ha funny—because I worked really hard on this book, read and re-read, wrote and rewrote and re-read some more. To the point that I thought I couldn’t do it anymore—BUT, last night I sat in bed with my little reading light and opened it up and relished each page as if I’d never lay eyes on it before.With book two finished, I look forward to more adventures with Angelica Kane and friends. Fall Festivals are popping up all over and I’ll be attending as many as I can doing book signings. It’s a dream come true! The book is out--it's at Amazon.com--today!
Blessings~Ella

Wow! It's September already, where did August go?
School starts tomorrow and although it's been many years since
I graduated I still get the end of summer blues when the yellow
school buses start their journey to pick up sad back-to-school kids. My son
included.
Every Witch Way But Dead comes out Sept.25th in book stores and The Upside
of Karma has a release date of Fall of '08. That means I must get cracking
on my Vamp book and then on to #3 in the Angelica Kane series, tentative title--The Hanging Tree.

Where does the time go? With days spent at Home Depot and painting walls, ripping up carpet, gardening and rescuing 20 year old sons who break down on the Expressway, who has time to write! Not I.
Abandoned by her brother who was supposed to help with all this construction on their mother's new home, our heroine loses what's left of her mind. That is until hunky Jake Striker, local handy man, arrives. His muscle shirt clings to him like socks in a dryer.
"You need me to check your pipes, m'aam?" Jake asks.
"Why yes, that's an excellent idea."
He leans over her, capturing her in a corner. His lips slightly spread in a mysterious smile. She feels the heat between them, I'll show you th-the way," she stutters nervously.
"I think I know my way around," he says seductively, wiping the paint from her cheek. Their lips so close...."

Back to Home Depot...grrr. To be continued...
At least I'm writing.

BB
Ella

THREE OF SWORDS will be re-released in ebook format from The Wild Rose Press next Friday, July 27th! Keep tuned, gang! Whoo hoo!

Joanna
www.myspace.com/joannakmoore

Hey all!
Sorry I've been MIA, but mom's staying with me and she just closed on a house. Now we start the process of moving her in. She's 79 and has been through lots of changes lately.
At least she will be two minutes from me and not an hour away.

Be back soon!

BB
Ella