tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36360161.post8365918963814624832..comments2023-10-31T05:01:32.909-07:00Comments on LunaChicks: Ellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16073983356557667060noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36360161.post-7831961645352547102009-06-19T12:10:28.477-07:002009-06-19T12:10:28.477-07:00Loved this: "His body ached to either beat th...Loved this: "His body ached to either beat the shit out of someone, or have the shit beaten out of him, again." Totally want to read more.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36360161.post-50332800433240057662009-06-17T10:54:13.157-07:002009-06-17T10:54:13.157-07:00I'd love to hear more about Nicholas, he sound...I'd love to hear more about Nicholas, he sounds like he has a lot of layers to him.<br /><br />Great fight scene!C R Wardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13212244053084461118noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36360161.post-66951272410812652602009-06-16T20:26:56.424-07:002009-06-16T20:26:56.424-07:00It's good! I like the action and the pacing!
...It's good! I like the action and the pacing!<br /><br />One thing (don't hate me) "He tried to grab the bottle of ambrosia, but Skyler was faster and sober." This is a little awkward. Maybe something like "He tried to grab the bottle of ambrosia, but Skyler, still sober, was faster."Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10228310208211135706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36360161.post-64391163650397934612009-06-16T18:50:25.717-07:002009-06-16T18:50:25.717-07:00"I'll knock your pearly whites down your ..."I'll knock your pearly whites down your throat." I love a good fight scene! Great job, I can't wait to read more!S.H.https://www.blogger.com/profile/18285987152225186177noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36360161.post-28131312308474414762009-06-16T18:37:32.252-07:002009-06-16T18:37:32.252-07:00Hee. Your second sentence made me laugh. I'm...Hee. Your second sentence made me laugh. I'm also getting the feeling that the rash and bodily sensations are a harbinger of big things to come. (Sorry, but first I've read your work.)<br /><br />Minor point: When dialogue is sharply interrupted, it should be "You and what--". The ellipsis is for when speech trails off.hope101http://cherrytart.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36360161.post-91948725824590891732009-06-16T16:03:35.018-07:002009-06-16T16:03:35.018-07:00Definitely want to know more about Nicholas. I li...Definitely want to know more about Nicholas. I like the idea that he doesn't know if he wants to beat someone up, or get beaten.K.A. Stewarthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00926336938605410096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36360161.post-87669043458183946532009-06-16T15:14:39.134-07:002009-06-16T15:14:39.134-07:00Too drunk to realize he should've stayed down....Too drunk to realize he should've stayed down. *nodnod* I've seen it before. Nick is a bad boy.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36360161.post-52550503400646379972009-06-16T15:09:39.127-07:002009-06-16T15:09:39.127-07:00Ah, I remember this. :)
You've done some wor...Ah, I remember this. :) <br /><br />You've done some work on Angel, I can tell! This is a nice piece, with good action, Bran. And Nicholas is, as always, lovely.sunnahttp://amybai.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36360161.post-29436971390730803272009-06-16T14:47:09.382-07:002009-06-16T14:47:09.382-07:00I didn't know you'd posted a teaser!!!
I ...I didn't know you'd posted a teaser!!!<br /><br />I adore Nicholas. He's so complicated and dark and tortured.sue laybournhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14549268075528924978noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36360161.post-70682477683238470522009-06-16T14:44:59.775-07:002009-06-16T14:44:59.775-07:00NIIICE!!! I actually kinda feel sorry for Nick! P...NIIICE!!! I actually kinda feel sorry for Nick! Poor guy... doesn't get the girl and is getting his ass kicked. that's gotta hurt pride, ego, AND body! lol<br /><br />loved it!!!<br /><br />~JenJ.F. Posthumushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17033765098660171013noreply@blogger.com