tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36360161.post1299339940469304630..comments2023-10-31T05:01:32.909-07:00Comments on LunaChicks: Ellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16073983356557667060noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36360161.post-514568741215210872009-05-20T07:34:59.996-07:002009-05-20T07:34:59.996-07:00I like the idea of a Roman god named Marcello. ;o)...I like the idea of a Roman god named Marcello. ;o) I was a little confused about the order of events, though. She comes home twice? Once just to get her stuff, then goes off to Lou's house, and then comes home again? The fact that there's no action related in that interim makes her second return home a little hard to process for me. I had to re-read to be sure I understood.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36360161.post-42444035100061836642009-05-20T07:07:53.408-07:002009-05-20T07:07:53.408-07:00I really like this! The characters are awesome; I ...I really like this! The characters are awesome; I hope you post more next week!S.H.https://www.blogger.com/profile/18285987152225186177noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36360161.post-68956195451849058442009-05-19T18:31:33.299-07:002009-05-19T18:31:33.299-07:00That was really long and I admit to not reading th...That was really long and I admit to not reading the whole thing (still have a bunch more teasers to get through), but I liked what I read. Nice start! Your descriptions are spot-on.Karen Duvallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01839711547501582977noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36360161.post-42025170610407305992009-05-19T16:31:39.336-07:002009-05-19T16:31:39.336-07:00Thanks Gretchen. Yeah, the original owner of the s...Thanks Gretchen. Yeah, the original owner of the statue named him Marcello. Louise bought him at a yard sale. I deleted that part from the ms.Ellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16073983356557667060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36360161.post-63736086743053805272009-05-19T11:45:00.000-07:002009-05-19T11:45:00.000-07:00The idea definitely has merit and worth exploring ...The idea definitely has merit and worth exploring further! Be careful with a borderline "As you know Bob" moment I saw where the one friend lists what the other does by way of relating that info to the reader. I didn't even think you needed it.Gretchenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09327185025020171674noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36360161.post-5775446287610045982009-05-19T11:00:00.000-07:002009-05-19T11:00:00.000-07:00Cool! She summoned him with the spell, right? Or d...Cool! She summoned him with the spell, right? Or de-petrified him from the statue?<br /><br />(I don't recognise Marcello as a Roman God - is Louise making it up?)parametricnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36360161.post-61624941301744816552009-05-19T09:58:00.000-07:002009-05-19T09:58:00.000-07:00I'm hooked! I'd keep reading to find out if the fr...I'm hooked! I'd keep reading to find out if the frog turned into a handsome prince or if the cat is a hunky guy in disguise! lol I know, I'm bad. ;-)J.F. Posthumushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17033765098660171013noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36360161.post-50429346619049837042009-05-19T09:00:00.000-07:002009-05-19T09:00:00.000-07:00Definitely keep going. Great start.Definitely keep going. Great start.Rose Presseyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15838717160840786213noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36360161.post-6252189024581798122009-05-19T08:15:00.000-07:002009-05-19T08:15:00.000-07:00Wow! If I could write rough drafts like this I'd ...Wow! If I could write rough drafts like this I'd be rich and famous. :-)<br /><br />Please post more. Or better yet, finish the whole thing and I can buy the book!C R Wardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13212244053084461118noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36360161.post-77654387736600752192009-05-19T07:58:00.000-07:002009-05-19T07:58:00.000-07:00Oh, definitely keep going! Very vivid description....Oh, definitely keep going! Very vivid description.sunnahttp://amybai.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36360161.post-28718061499503135912009-05-19T07:49:00.000-07:002009-05-19T07:49:00.000-07:00Yes, definitely indenting would help my poor old t...Yes, definitely indenting would help my poor old tired eyes, lol. I think there's a lot of promise here. Since it's rough, I don't think it's as tight as the other snippets of yours I read, but that's to be expected. I was a tad confused at the very beginning about the first line of dialogue, I think, but then everything made sense.<br />Have fun with this!Debra Drizahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15750912933889904216noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36360161.post-76822240306260225922009-05-19T07:48:00.001-07:002009-05-19T07:48:00.001-07:00I couldn't get the formatting to cooperate. Mercur...I couldn't get the formatting to cooperate. Mercury retro in action.<br /><br />Thanks!Ellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16073983356557667060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36360161.post-79078989388993386642009-05-19T07:48:00.000-07:002009-05-19T07:48:00.000-07:00Ooh, what a mean way to end it on us! ;-) I'd say ...Ooh, what a mean way to end it on us! ;-) I'd say this definitely has potential - I'd read on!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36360161.post-2306217079722917802009-05-19T07:40:00.000-07:002009-05-19T07:40:00.000-07:00This is lovely! I can see and smell everything - r...This is lovely! I can see and smell everything - really makes me miss Halloween across the pond. Really enjoyable read!<br /><br />You might want to think about indenting your paragraphs - right now the formatting's a little crowded. xxSarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06589125418574916299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36360161.post-30604896041995660362009-05-19T07:38:00.000-07:002009-05-19T07:38:00.000-07:00I think this shows great promise as a story. You'...I think this shows great promise as a story. You've got me interested and.....what a way to end a teaser!!grrrrrrrrr!!!<br />You'd better post more of this!sue laybournhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14549268075528924978noreply@blogger.com